There are times when time seems to speed up.

As if clocks all over the planet have suddenly tuned to a different standard…

The hours on the dials are always twenty-four, but the perception is that the days are suddenly faster. Much more hectic, chaotic, frantic…

You wake up and like a gazelle (from Aldo, Giovanni e Giacomo – the three hilarious Italian comedians) you have to start running. Behind you, there are no lions.

Your savannah is an agenda that – just like clocks – overtakes you at certain times.

One appointment slips by a few minutes, and the others – cascading – overlap. A delay, a snag….

Like the famous butterfly’s wing beating, capable of creating tsunamis miles and miles away, any event, even a trivial one, slips into your – already hectic – days and then mounts, like a beaten egg, and grows, grows until you think of a blob ready to swallow you.

There are so many commitments.

Sometimes, almost too many for a human being not to feel overwhelmed by them.

And when, in addition to accelerated time, a stormy schedule and meetings that jump and overlap, a further unforeseen event occurs, things get complicated.

In my case, the first unforeseen took the form of shoulder pain. On a plane, with two flight changes and a 24kg suitcase to recover and re-board.

An unexpected and excruciating pain that made even the simplest operations difficult for me. The ones we never stop to think about, because we take them for granted.

Suddenly everything became difficult. Everything a source of fatigue and pain. Everything heavy, slow, painful.

Body and psyche are parts of the same whole, we know this.

When the body suffers, the emotions we feel appear heavier than ever, we know that.

Just as we know that being in pain is a source of awareness…

Hampered in my movements by suffering, I felt myself hampered, unable to lift an arm, take a shower, wash my own hair.

I was not at home, but in Brazil, on the other side of the ocean, in one of the most intense periods of my year as an EFT trainer. With rains making everything difficult, blowing out the power, teaching without light, computers, comfort.

I had people to meet, my Brazilian community to see and embrace. Dozens of appointments every day. Trainings, more planes to catch, taxis, buses, flights of stairs to flats and always the 24 kg suitcase. An arm around my neck unusable.

And I couldn’t even wash my hair!

I had to replace normal household washes by going to the hairdresser every time. And I know there are those who consider it a little ‘pampering’ for themselves, but for me, the ‘styling’ of others has always been a less than pleasant experience.

I have never liked salons, shampooing with my head backwards and my neck uncomfortable… nor too hot hairdryers, combs, brushes, irons…

It may sound banal, what I share, but I do so for a reason related to the road I have chosen to travel as a therapist and as a person: the Emotionally Focused Therapy road.

This magnificent road, a source of richness for us and for anyone who approaches it, as I have often said, sometimes puts us up against walls.

It forces us to stop and rethink our plans, even questioning our certainties and the routes we thought we knew. It forces us to rethink ourselves, our being therapists, our interventions. About us as partners.

As in the case of the storm off the coast of Brazil, when the boat I was travelling on had to return to port….

Just as I was slowed down by the pain in my shoulder, impeded in my movements, and sad, I felt the warmth of my community beside me.

I was supported. I found help and comfort.

I saw myself surrounded by affection. Of support. Of understanding.

For the umpteenth time, I realised how Emotionally Focused Therapy unites people, creating bonds that are not only strong and secure, but even TAUMATURGICAL!

We are social animals that find their nourishment in co-dependence: not only on another person, but also in the group, in the community, in colleagues who rush to our aid and never leave us!

Thousands of miles from home, I felt the closeness with a family whose bond is not blood, but emotional sap. And that made me face everything differently, the hill Sue talks about in her book ‘Attachment Theory in Practice’, the one in the studies on visual perception that tell us that: if we face a hill alone, our brain considers it higher and harder to climb, compared to the same hill evaluated smaller and easier if there is a significant other next to us. Here, that hill has become much smaller thanks to all of you from EFT Italia, EFT Sul-Sudeste and EFT Nordeste Brasil.

And then after a moment of breathing…. Sue died. Here, of this grief I still can’t write. It makes me regret the pain in my shoulder. But I thank you Sue. Wherever you are, dear Sue, you are always with me. And I will write about you soon.